i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
