i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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