Your dad touched me again.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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