Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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