You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
