what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
