You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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