I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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