well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
