I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
