Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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