Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
