maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
