if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
