I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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