I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
