once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
