Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
