Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
