Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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