If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize