Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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