Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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