Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
