Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
