I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
