Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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