I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
