okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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