I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
