Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
