im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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