I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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