You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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