chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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