i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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