I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
