just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
