I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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