Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
