how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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