ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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