I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
