Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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