At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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