its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
