I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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