you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
