It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
