your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
