Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
