ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.