with your own penis?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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