a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
