check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.