I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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