i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
