In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
