I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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