That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize