I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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