I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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