addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
