Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
