i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
