I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
