I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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