I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize