I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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