so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
