I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
