I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
